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A fractured tale as might be told by Smilin' Ed to Midnight the Cat The bold type should be read as written.... the line by line translation is in italics
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.....Once upon a time, there was a little girl who lived with her mother in a little cottage honor itch offer lodge, dock, florist. Disk ladle gull orphan worry putty ladle rat cluck wetter on the edge of a large, dark, forest. This little girl often wore a pretty little red cloak with her ladle rat hut, an fur disk raisin pimple colder Ladle Rat Rotten Hut. Little red hood, and for this reason people called her Little Red Riding Hood. Wan moaning, Ladle Rat Rotten Hut's murder colder inset, "Ladle Rat Rotten Hut, heresy ladle One morning, Little Red Riding Hood’s mother called her and said, Little Red Riding Hood, here’s a little basking winsome burden barter an shirker cockles. Tick disk ladle basking tutor cordage offer basket with some bread and butter and sugar cookies. Take this little basket to the cottage of your groinmurder hoe lifts honor udder site offer florist. Shaker lake! Dun stopper laundry wrote! Dun grandmother who lives on the other side of the forest. Shake a leg! Don’t stop and loiter around ! Don’t stopper peck floors! Dun daily-doily inner florist, an yonder nor sorghum-stenches, dun stopper stop and pick flowers ! Don’t dilly-dally in the forest, and under no circumstances, don’t stop to torque wet strainers !" talk with strangers !" "Hoe-cake, murder," resplendent Ladle Rat Rotten Hut, an tickle ladle basking an stuttered oft. "Okay, mother," responded Little Red Riding Hood, and took the little basket and started off. Honor wrote tutor cordage offer groin-murder, Ladle Rat Rotten Hut mitten anomalous woof. On her road to the cottage of her grandmother, Little Red Riding Hood met an enormous wolf "Wail, wail, wail ! " set disk wicket woof, "Evanescent Ladle Rat Rotten Hut! Wares are putty "Well, well, well !" said this wicked wolf, If it isn’t Little Red Riding Hood! Where’s our pretty ladle gull goring wizard ladle basking?" little girl going with the little basket ?" "Armor goring tumor groin-murder's," reprisal ladle gull. "Grammar's seeking bet. Armor ticking "I’m going to my grandmother’s," replied the little girl. "Grandmother’s sick in bed. I am taking arson burden barter an shirker cockles." Her some bread and butter and sugar cookies." "O hoe!" setter wicket woof, butter taught tomb shelf, "Oil tickle shirt court "O ho !" said the wicked wolf, but he thought to himself, "I’ll take a short cut tutor cordage offer groin-murder. Oil ketchup wetter letter, an den O bore!" to the cottage of her grandmother. I’ll catch up with her latter, and then O Boy!" Soda wicket woof tucker shirt court, an whinney retched a cordage offer groin-murder, picked So the wicked wolf took a short cut, and when he reached a cottage of her grandmother, peeked inner windrow, an sore debtor pore oil worming worse lion inner bet. En inner flesh, disk in her window, and saw that her poor old woman was lying in her bed. And in a flash, this abdominal woof lipped honor bet, paunched honor pore oil worming, an garbled erupt. Den disk abominable wolf leaped on her bed, pounced on the poor old woman, and gobbled her up. Then this ratchet ammonol pot honor groin-murder's nut cup an gnat-gun, any curdled ope inner bet. Wretched animal put on her grandmother’s night cap and night gown, and cuddled up in her bed Inner ladle wile, Ladle Rat Rotten Hut a raft attar cordage, an ranker dough ball. "Comb ink, In a little while, Little Red Riding Hood arrived at the cottage, and rang the door bell. "Come in sweat hard," setter wicket woof, disgracing is verse. Ladle Rat Rotten Hut entity betrum an stud sweet heart," said the wicked wolf, disguising his voice. Little Red Riding Hood entered the bedroom and stood buyer groin-murder's bet. by her grandmother’s bed. "O Grammar !" crater ladle gull historically, "Water bag icer gut! A nervous sausage bag ice!" "O Grandma !" cried the little girl hysterically, " What big eyes you got ! I never saw such big eyes !" "Battered chew whiff, sweat hard," setter bloat-Thursday woof, wetter wicket small honors "Better to chew with, sweet heart," said the blood-thirsty wolf, with a wicked small honest phase. voice. "O Grammar, water bag noise! A nervous sore suture anomolous prognosis!" "O Grandma, what a big nose! I never saw such an enormous proboscis!" "Battered small your whiff, doling," whiskered dole woof, ants mouse worse waddling. "Better to smell you with, darling," whispered the wolf, and mouth was watering. "O Grammar, water bag mouser gut ! A nervous sore suture bag mouse!" "O Grandma, what a big mouth you got! I never saw such a big mouth!" Daze worry on-forger-nut ladle gull's lest warts. Oil offer sodden, caking offer carvers an Days wore on - for this is not the little girl’s least worries. All of a sudden,taking of her covers and sprinkling otter bet, disk hoard hoarded woof lipped own pore Ladle Rat Rotten Hut an garbled springing out of her bed, this hard-hearted wolf leaped on poor Little Red Riding Hood and gobbled erupt. Mural: Yonder nor sorghum stenches shut ladle gulls stopper torque wet strainers. her up. Moral: Under no circumstances should little girls stop to talk with strangers.
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